The “Relationship Magic for Couples Five Step Process to Your Dream Relationship” will take you by the hand and guide you through transforming your relationship.

In general, the first time you go through the process plan for four to six weeks. It is possible to do it faster, but at the risk of not allowing enough time to really learn the skills and internalize them. On the other hand, it’s best to finish your first time through the process in no more than two months so you don’t lose momentum.

The Five Key Elements are the pillars that point to WHAT you need to be vigilant about in maintaining and developing your dream romantic relationship. They provide the framework for revealing your relationship’s strengths and weaknesses.

The Five Key Steps are the “HOW” that guide you through exactly what to do to get from where you are in your relationship now to where you desire to be. The Steps teach you new relationship skills. They also ensure that you have a plan for the ongoing care and development of your relationship.

It’s important to allow yourselves ample contemplation and processing time. You’ll agree at the beginning what pace will work for you, considering how each of you approach things and considering all the other aspects of your life that require attention. 

You will go at the pace that works for you and your life. That can vary widely across couples.

If you haven’t already done so, you and your partner will separately do the short free quiz. Thinking about your responses and how you chose them will help you with Step One. Then you will move on to Step 2 where you and your partner will separately complete an in-depth assessment of multiple aspects of your relationship.

The process includes very detailed instructions for how to prepare for your conversation with your partner. The first time you go through the process, it is best if you do all the steps in order. Later, when you use what you’ve learned, you’ll most likely go back to the Conflict Resolution guide and the Step 4 Dialogue process and use them on an ongoing basis.

Ideally when you have ample time and privacy and both partners are rested and in good health. It’s also best not to attempt this if you’re in the middle of some serious life crisis, unrelated to your relationship, which is consuming a lot of your time and energy.

First, you’ll notice it in the difference in your day-to-day interaction and, second, you’re welcome to retake both the quiz and the comprehensive assessment that you did in Step 2.

Depending on your situation and commitment level to the relationship, you will first want to consider why your partner won’t agree to work on the relationship and what that means to you.

If you decide to remain in the relationship, then the Relationship Magic information, tools and processes will help you to understand, change and manage your own behavior in a healthier way. In any partnership or equation, when one side changes the other side is affected. Change yourself and you may be surprised at how your partner responds and what your partner becomes willing to look at.

 See answer just above.

Every situation is different and you can’t know with certainty going in what the outcome will be. You do know that if you do nothing, then nothing will change. What is sure is that you will be better equipped to move forward positively in your relationship than you are now.

You most likely will still have most, if not all, of the options you did to begin with, but now because you have a better understanding of yourself and the dynamics in your relationship you will be better equipped to make a healthy decision for yourself than you were before. You will also want to consider why it didn’t work. If it’s lack of application and your partner is willing, then try again, this time not skipping or skimping on any of the steps. Don’t give up too soon if the relationship is really important to both partners. Remember, you are not alone. Make use of the twice monthly live Q&A available for free for 60 days from date of purchase.

Yes, absolutely. Going through this process will help you surface and heal the issues that led to the loss of trust.

It will further affect how the partners feel about each other and that can add to the difficulty in the relationship. See all of the Q &A above for some more perspective on related issues. There are no guarantees in life or relationships. The alternative is to do nothing and remain where you are. Only you can weigh the pain you’re in against any possible negative outcomes and decide if it’s worth the risk. In general, making no changes to a bad situation because something undesirable may happen is not the best choice.

Absolutely. There is a wealth of information and help about conflict and the process itself will guide you to surface and work through issues that are producing conflict.

Agree to a “cooling off” period. If you haven’t been through the process before, then each read the Step 3 Secrets to Healthy, Successful Conflict Resolution, then use the guidelines in Step 4 about how to have a productive dialog about your relationship, but focus just on the issue causing the blow up to have a conversation with your partner about it.

Yes, again absolutely. There is also a wealth of help for improving your relationship with your partner even if things are going well or at least, no conflict is present.

The fundamentals in conflict resolution are to get to the heart of the matter, the root cause of it and then come to some agreement satisfactory to both parties about it. This is true whether the issue is money or sex or time together or politics or a third party interference or intense stress, or parenting, or any of the other things that tend to cause conflict in a relationship.

Other than obvious conflicts like shouting at one another or other overt signs of a fight, there are many subtle indicators. The Secrets to Healthy, Successful Conflict Resolution guide points out many of the behaviors that tend to crop up when a subtle fight is on in the discussion on tip number 10. Some are if there is an undercurrent of tension, if you or your partner feels “bristly” when you’re around the other, if you withdraw or get patronizing or take “cheap shots” or get aggressive about your point of view. These are all indicators of an unresolved conflict.

No, disagreements are natural. The key is to not have differences or hurt feelings disintegrate into harming the relationship because the issue is not addressed in a healthy way.

The dynamics of addiction will interfere with resolving relationship issues. The process can still be helpful, but it’s more likely you’ll run into a snag. This is a situation in which a third party facilitator is helpful. And, of course, it’s very important that the partner with the addiction be actively getting help to deal with that. If your partner refuses to get help and it’s creating serious problems in the relationship, then you have to decide if you’ll stay in the relationship if nothing changes or it gets worse. If you’re in this situation, talk to a counselor specializing in that addiction.

This is another situation where getting professional third party help to facilitate the conversation is a good idea. If your partner won’t talk calmly and won’t agree to get help, then you can work through the process yourself as much as possible. Make changes in yourself and see what changes that causes in your partner. If ultimately things don’t get better, then you have to evaluate staying in the relationship. Contemplating ending a relationship is difficult and often frightening, but it’s usually less painful than the regrets that come with staying in a situation that consumes your life. Keep in mind that most relationships can be saved with the right help and support if both partners are committed to saving the relationship and creating a better one.