Manage what you expect of your romantic relationship and of your partner

Couples are sometimes prone to expect a fairytale “happily ever after” relationship that comes about in some magical way without conscious effort on their part.  But, you know that’s not the reality of a good relationship, let alone a great one.  A great romantic relationship takes work.  It takes both of you being willing to dig into what’s going on with you and your partner and find ways to make things great for both of you.

Sometimes you may have unreasonable expectations of your partner.  One of the most common is to expect your partner to read your mind.  You may feel like if you have to tell your partner what you need and want from them that somehow makes getting it less desirable, less meaningful.  It’s a kind of magical thinking that goes on along the lines of “if he or she really cares about me, they’ll just know what’s important to me and they’ll make sure that they give it to me.”

If you say that out loud, you may realize that it’s unreasonable and unrealistic, but people do sometimes fall prey to it.  Communication is the key.  Everyone has heard this about relationships, but what does it take to put it into practice.  First, determine what your needs and wants are in the relationship.  Ask your partner to do the same.   Then set aside a couple of hours to share your thoughts with each other in a non-blaming way and look for ways you can together create the kind of relationship that meets at the very least the most important needs or wants for each of you.  It’s surprising how easy this sometimes turns out to be once each of you “comes clean” with the other.

 

Posted on November 9, 2013 by 0 Comments Short URL

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